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ALICE`S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND - Lewis Carroll
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ALICE`S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
Lewis Carroll

CHAPTER I
Down the Rabbit-Hole

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the
bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the
book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in
it, - and what is the use of a book, - thought Alice - without pictures or
conversation?
So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking
the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it
so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, - Oh dear!
Oh dear! I shall be late! - (when she thought it over afterwards, it
occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
OUT OF ITS WAISTCOATPOCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice
started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
before see a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out
of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and
fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under
the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering
how in the world she was to get out again.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then
dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep
well.
Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she
was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the
sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and
book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She
took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled -
ORANGE MARMALADE - , but to her great disappointment it way empty: she did
not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so managed to put
it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.
- Well! - thought Alice to herself, - after such a fall as this, I
shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they`ll all think
me at home! Why, I wouldn`t say anything about it, even if I fell off the
top of the house! - (Which was very likely true.)
Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! - I wonder how
many miles I`ve fallen by this time? - she said aloud. - I must be getting
somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four
thousand miles down, I think - (for, you see, Alice had learnt several
things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was
not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no
one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) - yes,
that`s about the right distance - but then I wonder what Latitude or
Longitude I`ve got to? - (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or
Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)
Presently she began again. - I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH
the earth! How funny it`ll seem to come out among the people that walk
with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think - (she was rather glad
there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn`t sound at all the right
word) - but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you
know. Please, Ma`am, is this New Zealand or Australia? - (and she tried to
curtsey as she spoke - fancy CURTSEYING as you`re falling through the air!
Do you think you could manage it?)
- And what an ignorant little girl she`ll think me for asking! No,
it`ll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.
Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began
talking again. Dinah`ll miss me very much to-night, I should think! (Dinah
was the cat.) - I hope they`ll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time.
Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the
air, I`m afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that`s very like a mouse,
you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder? - And here Alice began to get
rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, -
Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? - and sometimes, - Do bats eat cats? -
for, you see, as she couldn`t answer either question, it didn`t much
matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had
just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and
saying to her very earnestly,
- Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat? - when
suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of stick and dry leaves,
and the fall was over.
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was
another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying
down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind,
and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, - Oh my ears
and whiskers, how late it`s getting! - She was close behind it when she
turned to corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging
from the roof.
There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and
when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying
every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever
to get out again.
Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid
glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice`s first
thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but,
alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at
any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round,
she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was
a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage
into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that
dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those
cool fountains, but she could to even get her head thought he doorway; -
and even if my head would go through, - thought poor Alice, - it would be
of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up
like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin. - For, you
see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had
begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.
There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went
back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any
rate a book or rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she
found a little bottle on it, ( - which certainly was not here before, -
said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the
words - DRINK ME - beautifully printed on it in large letters.
It was all very well to say - Drink me, - but the wise little Alice
was not going to do THAT in a hurry. - No, I`ll look first, - she said,
- and see whether it`s marked - poison - or not; - for she had read
several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten
up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not
remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a
red-hot poker will burn you if your hold it too long; and that if you cut
your finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never
forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked - poison, - it is
almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
However, this bottle was NOT marked - poison, - so Alice ventured to
taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed
flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot
buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.

* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *

- What a curious feeling! - said Alice; - I must be shutting up like
a telescope.
And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face
brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
though the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited
for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt
a little nervous about this; - for it might end, you know, - said Alice to
herself, - in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I
should be like then? - And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle
is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever
having seen such a thing.
After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on
going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to
the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden key, and when she
went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it:
she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best
to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and
when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down
and cried.
- Come, there`s no use in crying like that! - said Alice to herself,
rather sharply; - I advise you to leave off this minute! - She generally
gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and
sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes;
and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated
herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this
curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. - But it`s no
use now, - thought poor Alice, - to pretend to be two people! Why, there`s
hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!
Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the
table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the
words - EAT ME - were beautifully marked in currants. - Well, I`ll eat it,
- said Alive, - and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and
if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way
I`ll get into the garden, and I don`t care which happens!
She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, - Which way?
Which way?`, holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it
was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the
same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but
Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way
things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on
in the common way.
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *

CHAPTER II
The Pool of Tears

- Curiouser and curiouser! - cried Alice (she was so much surprised,
that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); - now I`m
opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet! -
(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of
sight, they were getting so far off). - Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder
who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I`m sure _I_
shan`t be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
about you: you must manage the best way you can; - but I must be kind to
them, - thought Alice, - or perhaps they won`t walk the way I want to go!
Let me see: I`ll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.
And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. - They
must go by the carrier, - she thought; - and how funny it`ll seem, sending
presents to one`s own feet! And how odd the directions will look!

ALICE`S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
HEARTHRUG,
NEAR THE FENDER,
(WITH ALICE`S LOVE).

Oh dear, what nonsense I`m talking!
Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she
was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little
golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side,
to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself, - said Alice, - a great girl
like you, - (she might well say this), - to go on crying in this way! Stop
this moment, I tell you! - But she went on all the same, shedding gallons
of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches
deep and reaching half down the hall.
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance,
and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in
one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great
hurry, muttering to himself as he came, - Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess!
Oh! won`t she be savage if I`ve kept her waiting! - Alice felt so
desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, - If you please, sir -
The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan,
and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.
Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she
kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: - Dear, dear! How
queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I
wonder if I`ve been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same
when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
different. But if I`m not the same, the next question is, Who in the world
am I? Ah, THAT`S the great puzzle! - And she began thinking over all the
children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she
could have been changed for any of them.
- I`m sure I`m not Ada, - she said, - for her hair goes in such long
ringlets, and mine doesn`t go in ringlets at all; and I`m sure I can`t be
Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very
little! Besides, SHE`S she, and I`m I, and - oh dear, how puzzling it all
is! I`ll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four
times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven
is - oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the
Multiplication Table doesn`t signify: let`s try Geography. London is the
capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome - no, THAT`S
all wrong, I`m certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! I`ll try and
say - How doth the little - and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she
were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse
and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:

- How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

- How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spread his claws,
And welcome little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!

- I`m sure those are not the right words, - said poor Alice, and her
eyes filled with tears again as she went on, - I must be Mabel after all,
and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next
to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I`ve
made up my mind about it; if I`m Mabel, I`ll stay down here! It`ll be no
use their putting their heads down and saying
- Come up again, dear! - I shall only look up and say - Who am I
then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I`ll come
up: if not, I`ll stay down here till I`m somebody else - but, oh dear! -
cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, - I do wish they WOULD put
their heads down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!
As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to
see that she had put on one of the Rabbit`s little white kid gloves while
she was talking. - How CAN I have done that? - she thought. - I must be
growing small again. - She got up and went to the table to measure herself
by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two
feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the
cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily,
just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
- That WAS a narrow escape! - said Alice, a good deal frightened at
the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence;
- and now for the garden! - and she ran with all speed back to the
little door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little
golden key was lying on the glass table as before, - and things are worse
than ever, - thought the poor child, - for I never was so small as this
before, never! And I declare it`s too bad, that it is!
As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first idea was that she
had somehow fallen into the sea, - and in that case I can go back by
railway, - she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her
life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go to on
the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some
children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging
houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out
that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
feet high.
- I wish I hadn`t cried so much! - said Alice, as she swam about,
trying to find her way out. - I shall be punished for it now, I suppose,
by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure!
However, everything is queer to-day.
Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little
way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought
it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she
was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped
in like herself.
- Would it be of any use, now, - thought Alice, - to speak to this
mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very
likely it can talk: at any rate, there`s no harm in trying. - So she
began: - O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of
swimming about here, O Mouse! - (Alice thought this must be the right way
of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but she
remembered having seen in her brother`s Latin Grammar, - A mouse - of a
mouse - to a mouse - a mouse - O mouse! - The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but
it said nothing.
- Perhaps it doesn`t understand English, - thought Alice; - I daresay
it`s a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror. - (For, with
all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago
anything had happened.) So she began again: - Ou est ma chatte? - which
was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a suddenleap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. - Oh, I
beg your pardon! - cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor
animal`s feelings. - I quite forgot you didn`t like cats.
- Not like cats! - cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. -
Would YOU like cats if you were me? - Well, perhaps not, - said Alice in a
soothing tone: - don`t be angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you
our cat Dinah: I think you`d take a fancy to cats if you could only see
her. She is such a dear quiet thing, - Alice went on, half to herself, as
she swam lazily about in the pool, - and she sits purring so nicely by the
fire, licking her paws and washing her face - and she is such a nice soft
thing to nurse - and she`s such a capital one for catching mice - oh, I
beg your pardon! - cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was
bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be really offended.
- We won`t talk about her any more if you`d rather not. - We indeed!
- cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail. - As if
I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED cats: nasty, low,
vulgar things! Don`t let me hear the name again!
- I won`t indeed! - said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
subject of conversation. - Are you - are you fond - of - of dogs? - The
Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: - There is such a nice
little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed
terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it`ll fetch
things when you throw them, and it`ll sit up and beg for its dinner, and
all sorts of thins - I can`t remember half of them - and it belongs to a
farmer, you know, and he says it`s so useful, it`s worth a hundred pounds!
He says it kills all the rats and - oh dear! - cried Alice in a sorrowful
tone, - I`m afraid I`ve offended it again! - For the Mouse was swimming
away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the
pool as it went.
So she called softly after it, - Mouse dear! Do come back again, and
we won`t talk about cats or dogs either, if you don`t like them! When the
Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face
was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low
trembling voice, - Let us get to the shore, and then I`ll tell you my
history, and you`ll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.
It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with
the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a
Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led
the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.

CHAPTER III
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank -
the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging
close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a
consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural
to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known
them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory,
who at last turned sulky, and would only say,
- I am older than you, and must know better; - and this Alice would
not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively
refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
called out, - Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I`LL soon make you
dry enough! - They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
- Ahem! - said the Mouse with an important air, - are you all ready?
This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!
- William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was
soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late
much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria-
- Ugh! - said the Lory, with a shiver.
- I beg your pardon! - said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: -
Did you speak? - Not I! - said the Lory hastily. - I thought you did, -
said the Mouse. - I proceed. - Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and
Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop
of Canterbury, found it advisable
- Found WHAT? - said the Duck.
- Found IT, - the Mouse replied rather crossly: - of course you know
what - it - means.
- I know what - it - means well enough, when I find a thing, - said
the Duck: - it`s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
archbishop find?
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, - -
found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him
the crown. William`s conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of
his Normans - How are you getting on now, my dear? - it continued, turning
to Alice as it spoke.
- As wet as ever, - said Alice in a melancholy tone: - it doesn`t
seem to dry me at all.
- In that case, - said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, - I
move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
energetic remedies
- Speak English! - said the Eaglet. - I don`t know the meaning of
half those long words, and, what`s more, I don`t believe you do either!
And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds
tittered audibly.
- What I was going to say, - said the Dodo in an offended tone, -
was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.
- What IS a Caucus-race? - said Alice; not that she wanted much to
know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to
speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
- Why, - said the Dodo, - the best way to explain it is to do it.
(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will
tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ( - the exact
shape doesn`t matter, - it said,) and then all the party were placed along
the course, here and there. There was no - One, two, three, and away, -
but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so
that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they
had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo
suddenly called out - The race is over! - and they all crowded round it,
panting, and asking, - But who has won?
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its
forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the
pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said,
- EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.
- But who is to give the prizes? - quite a chorus of voices asked.
- Why, SHE, of course, - said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a
confused way, - Prizes! Prizes!
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her
pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not
got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one
a-piece all round.
- But she must have a prize herself, you know, - said the Mouse.
- Of course, - the Dodo replied very gravely. - What else have you
got in your pocket? - he went on, turning to Alice.
- Only a thimble, - said Alice sadly.
- Hand it over here, - said the Dodo. Then they all crowded round her
once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying - We beg
your acceptance of this elegant thimble; - and, when it had finished this
short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so
grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of
anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn
as she could.
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and
confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs,
and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it
was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse
to tell them something more.
- You promised to tell me your history, you know, - said Alice, - and
why it is you hate - C and D, - she added in a whisper, half afraid that
it would be offended again.
- Mine is a long and a sad tale! - said the Mouse, turning to Alice,
and sighing.
- It IS a long tail, certainly, - said Alice, looking down with
wonder at the Mouse`s tail - - but why do you call it sad? - And she kept
on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the
tale was something like this:

- Fury said to a
mouse, That he
met in the
house,
- Let us
both go to
law: I will
prosecute
YOU. - Come,
I`ll take no
denial; We
must have a
trial: For
really this
morning I`ve
nothing
to do.
Said the
mouse to the
cur, - Such
a trial,
dear Sir,
With
no jury
or judge,
would be
wasting
our
breath.
- I`ll be
judge, I`ll
be jury,
Said
cunning
old Fury:
- I`ll
try the
whole
cause,
and
condemn
you
to
death.

- You are not attending! - said the Mouse to Alice severely. - What
are you thinking of?
- I beg your pardon, - said Alice very humbly: - you had got to the
fifth bend, I think?
- I had NOT! - cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
- A knot! - said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
looking anxiously about her. - Oh, do let me help to undo it!
- I shall do nothing of the sort, - said the Mouse, getting up and
walking away. - You insult me by talking such nonsense!
- I didn`t mean it! - pleaded poor Alice. - But you`re so easilyoffended, you know!
The Mouse only growled in reply. - Please come back and finish your
story! - Alice called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, -
Yes, please do! - but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and
walked a little quicker.
- What a pity it wouldn`t stay! - sighed the Lory, as soon as it was
quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her
daughter - Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose YOUR
temper! - - Hold your tongue, Ma! - said the young Crab, a little
snappishly. - You`re enough to try the patience of an oyster!
- I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do! - said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. - She`d soon fetch it back!
- And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question? - said
the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her
pet: - Dinah`s our cat. And she`s such a capital one for catching mice you
can`t think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she`ll
eat a little bird as soon as look at it!
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of
the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began wrapping itself up
very carefully, remarking, - I really must be getting home; the night-air
doesn`t suit my throat! - and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to
its children, - Come away, my dears! It`s high time you were all in bed! -
On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
- I wish I hadn`t mentioned Dinah! - she said to herself in a
melancholy tone. - Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I`m sure she`s
the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see
you any more! - And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very
lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a
little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly,
half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to
finish his story.

CHAPTER IV
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it
muttering to itself - The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur
and whiskers! She`ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets!
Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder? - Alice guessed in a moment that
it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very
good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be
seen - everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, and
the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, had vanished
completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and
called out to her in an angry tone, - Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing
out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!
Quick, now! - And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once in
the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it had
made.
- He took me for his housemaid, - she said to herself as she ran. -
How surprised he`ll be when he finds out who I am! But I`d better take him
his fan and gloves - that is, if I can find them. - As she said this, she
came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass
plate with the name - W. RABBIT - engraved upon it. She went in without
knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the
real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan
and gloves.
- How queer it seems, - Alice said to herself, - to be going messages
for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah`ll be sending me on messages next! - And she
began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: - Miss Alice! Come
here directly, and get ready for your walk! - - Coming in a minute, nurse!
But I`ve got to see that the mouse doesn`t get out. Only I don`t think, -
Alice went on, - that they`d let Dinah stop in the house if it began
ordering people about like that!
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a
table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three
pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the
gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a
little bottle that stood near the lookingglass. There was no label this
time with the words - DRINK ME, - but nevertheless she uncorked it and put
it to her lips. - I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen, - she
said to herself, - whenever I eat or drink anything; so I`ll just see what
this bottle does. I do hope it`ll make me grow large again, for really I`m
quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!
It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she
had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the
ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily
put down the bottle, saying to herself - That`s quite enough - I hope I
shan`t grow any more - As it is, I can`t get out at the door - I do wish I
hadn`t drunk quite so much!
Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing,
and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was
not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with one
elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. Still she
went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out of the
window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself - Now I can do no
more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as
there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
- It was much pleasanter at home, - thought poor Alice, - when one
wasn`t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice
and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn`t gone down that rabbit-hole - and yet -
and yet - it`s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder
what CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied
that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I
grow up, I`ll write one - but I`m grown up now, - she adde in a sorrowful
tone; - at least there`s no room to grow up any more HERE.
- But then, - thought Alice, - shall I NEVER get any older than I am
now? That`ll be a comfort, one way - never to be an old woman-but then -
always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn`t like THAT!
- Oh, you foolish Alice! - she answered herself. - How can you learn
lessons in here? Why, there`s hardly room for YOU, and no room at all for
any lesson-books!
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and
making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she
heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
- Mary Ann! Mary Ann! - said the voice. - Fetch me my gloves this
moment! - Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew
it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook
the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as
large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but,
as the door opened inwards, and Alice`s elbow was pressed hard against it,
that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself - Then I`ll go
round and get in at the window.
- THAT you won`t - thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied
she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her
hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but
she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from
which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a
cucumber-frame, or something of the sort.
Next came an angry voice - the Rabbit`s - Pat! Pat! Where are you?And then a voice she had never heard before, - Sure then I`m here! Diggingfor apples, yer honour!
- Digging for apples, indeed! - said the Rabbit angrily. - Here! Come
and help me out of THIS! - (Sounds of more broken glass.)
- Now tell me, Pat, what`s that in the window?
- Sure, it`s an arm, yer honour! - (He pronounced it - arrum.`)
- An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the
whole window!
- Sure, it does, yer honour: but it`s an arm for all that.
- Well, it`s got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers
now and then; such as, - Sure, I don`t like it, yer honour, at all, at
all! - - Do as I tell you, you coward! - and at last she spread out her
hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were TWO
little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass.
- What a number of cucumber-frames there must be! - thought Alice. -
I wonder what they`ll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only
wish they COULD! I`m sure I don`t want to stay in here any longer!
She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came
a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voice all
talking together: she made out the words: - Where`s the other ladder? -
Why, I hadn`t to bring but one; Bill`s got the other - Bill! fetch it
here, lad! - Here, put `em up at this corner - No, tie `em together first
- they don`t reach half high enough yet - Oh! they`ll do well enough;
don`t be particular-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope - Will the roof
bear? - Mind that loose slate - Oh, it`s coming down! Heads below! - (a
loud crash) - Now, who did that? - It was Bill, I fancy - Who`s to go down
the chimney? - Nay, I shan`t! YOU do it! - That I won`t, then! - Bill`s to
go down - Here, Bill! the master says you`re to go down the chimney!
- Oh! So Bill`s got to come down the chimney, has he? - said Alice to
herself. - Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn`t be in
Bill`s place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but
THINK I can kick a little!
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waitedtill she heard a little animal (she couldn`t guess of what sort it was)
scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then,
saying to herself - This is Bill, - she gave one sharp kick, and waited to
see what would happen next.
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of - There goes Bill!
- then the Rabbit`s voice along - Catch him, you by the hedge! then
silence, and then another confusion of voices - Hold up his head - Brandy
now - Don`t choke him - How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell
us all about it! Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ( - That`s Bill, -
thought Alice,) - Well, I hardly know - No more, thank ye; I`m better now
- but I`m a deal too flustered to tell you - all I know is, something
comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!
- So you did, old fellow! - said the others.
- We must burn the house down! - said the Rabbit`s voice; and Alice
called out as loud as she could, - If you do. I`ll set Dinah at you!
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, - I
wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they`d take the roof
off. - After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and Alice
heard the Rabbit say, - A barrowful will do, to begin with.
- A barrowful of WHAT? - thought Alice; but she had not long to
doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at
the window, and some of them hit her in the face. - I`ll put a stop to
this, - she said to herself, and shouted out, - You`d better not do thatagain! - which produced another dead silence.
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning
into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into
her head. - If I eat one of these cakes, - she thought, - it`s sure to
make SOME change in my size; and as it can`t possibly make me larger, it
must make me smaller, I suppose.
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she
began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through
the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little
animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in
the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something
out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared;
but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
thick wood.
- The first thing I`ve got to do, - said Alice to herself, as she
wandered about in the wood, - is to grow to my right size again; and the
second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will
be the best plan.
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply
arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how
to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the
trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a great
hurry.
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and
feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. - Poor little thing! -
said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but
she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be
hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of
all her coaxing.
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and
held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all
its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and
made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to
keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the other
side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over
heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every moment
to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then the puppy
began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very little way
forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all the
while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue
hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she
set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and
till the puppy`s bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
- And yet what a dear little puppy it was! - said Alice, as she leant
against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves: - I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if - if I`d
only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I`d nearly forgotten that I`ve
got to grow up again! Let me see - how IS it to be managed? I suppose I
ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the
flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked
like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a
large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and
when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it
occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of
it.
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the
mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that
was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long
hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.

CHAPTER V
Advice from a Caterpillar /... /

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